Cake in Korea

     Cake in Korea. It's a funny thing. I grew up with great cake. Cake in america is delicious. Cake in Korea is... different. It's very different. I've had some cake here that is basically bread with frosting. It ain't even cake mix that they made it with! For the most part, the cake is good. It's all great until you have something like Green Tea Cake. Is this really necessary? It taste like grass.. sugary grass. Yuk!

     Being an English teacher here in Korea, I've had a ton of cake. That may sound strange to you if you're not a teacher at my school. What happens is this... We have a couple hundred students between the ages of four and seven. Every week there's, at least, one birthday party. The cake never gets fully eaten. This is when it's brought to it's final resting place- The Teacher's Room. It is here that the 19-24 year old assistant teachers have their way with the cake. There's always some left though and my class is on the same floor as this room. If I happen to stop into this room I'm always always confronted with a half eaten princess or Power Ranger cake. Yum! I can never help myself. I usually take a bite and scurry back to my class... Actually I never scurry. I usually stand their and make a joke about how I have to try the cake to make sure it's okay for everyone else to eat. Pretty corny, considering I use this same lame joke every time. 

     I said "princess or Power Ranger" cake. I don't mean to say that it's a rectangular cake with an edible image on top. No, It's a friggin' sculpture! The best one I've ever seen was an Angry Birds cake. It was amazing! It also tasted like plastic and marshmallows. I only tried it to make sure it was okay for... Aww shit. I suck.

     I think Koreans love sweets, but at the same time they want to feel like their being healthy. The cakes in the image above are covered in fruit. Strangely enough, the fruit is covered in a weird, clear sugar glaze. Of course it's healthy! It reminds me of how you can go out to any Korean bar, drink your face off, open a menu and order a GIANT fruit platter. Booze and fruit... Healthy!

     The weirdest cake I've ever had here was one that was shaped like a panda's head. It was a dome shaped chocolate cake glazed with a plastic looking frosting. It was cute. I don't like eating cute things really. I like to eat cows, pigs and other ugly animals. I only eat chicken if I know it was an adult when it was getting ready for my belly. Cutting into Mr. Panda was awful. I would feel like a total dick if, all of the sudden, a real panda walked in. I can see it now. I'm cutting into the cake and in walks the fuzzy little guy...

     "Mike!"

     "What?!.... No!... It's not what it looks-"

     "We're endangered for christ sake!"

     "I know, I know... It's just that the cartoon cake version of you is so delicious and-"

     "and you just want to make sure it's okay for everyone else to eat!... You disgust me!"

     Unless I had some bamboo flavored cake, which I'm sure is readily available, I think it'd be pretty hard to calm the little guy down. 

    So yeah, cake in Korea- Pandas, princesses and Power Rangers. Try it and make sure it's okay for someone else to eat. (See how annoying that gets)

     

All of the Lights

   According to Nationmaster.com, South Korea used 402,000,000,000 kWh of electricity in 2009. South Korea ranks in at #11 in the whole world. Number 11... That's not even in the top ten, but when you think about the size of this place... God Damn. Countries like China, Russia and, of course, the US stand ahead of South Korea. Those places are huge. It's no wonder you can't see any stars in the Seoul sky.
   I couldn't believe it when I first arrived in Korea- How bright it could be at night. I would sit at the top of my street at the busiest intersection in my town, Byeongjeom (Nothing compared to Seoul) and just take in the neon blanket that lit up the town. It's crazy to look up in the day time and realize how many lights stay on 24/7. I live in Gangnam now. There's more than a few giant-ass TV screen atop buildings that play nothing but commercials... all day, all night, all the time. 
   While Korea's energy consumption seems wasteful and unnecessary, the nightlife in Seoul, or any other city or town here, wouldn't be the same. I love it. I'll even go as far to say it's beautiful. To walk around the backstreets of downtown Gangnam (especially on the weekend) is an amazing and energizing sight. Everything's happening, everyone's there and every light creates a collage of neon luminance in your eyes and in your brain. The photo above isn't even really the brightest or busiest it gets, but I took it in the moment that I realized how awesome something so simple can be.
   Over the past few years here in Korea, you'd think I'd have gotten used to the bright lights and big buildings. I still haven't and I refuse to. I say- Let it be beautiful. Green friendly? Kiss my ass. This is awesome.

Staff Dinners

   I'm writing this for two reasons.
Reason 1: To share the crazy experience called a "Staff Dinner" with the rest of the world
Reason 2: To find out if this happens with all English teachers in Korea
   Staff dinners usually start off nice. There's shop talk, the occasional cheers, food... maybe a short speech from the school director. At some point in the night it turns into a frat party. Soju gets introduced and all hell breaks loose.
   You would think that the director, principal or school owner would be keeping everyone in check, but that's hardly the case. They always seem to be the ring leader. From the days when I was in a smaller, sketchy establishment out in Suwon, to these days when I'm working for a solid, upstanding company in Seoul... One thing has always been certain- "Staff Dinner" always... always translates to "Crazy Night with your Coworkers". I love it.
   The other night my school treated us all to a dinner at a Japanese restaurant. We had tons of sashimi and soju served to us for free. The director and principal of my school shared a private room with whoever stumbled in from time to time. The photo above was taken in that little room at what seems like a very tame moment. It really wasn't. I'm not going to go into details as to what was said or done. I will say, however, that everything was in good fun and kind spirited... Oh, and noisy as hell.

   That night I ended up catching fish out of the restaurant's outdoor tank with some fellow employees. The coolest thing about it was that the restaurant was totally okay with us doing this. Actually no... The coolest thing was that we caught the fish with our bare hands. Check out the hilarious video of it on Youtube...              

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFDah55UZU0)

   Does the crazy staff dinner night happen to everyone here in Korea? Is it just a Korean thing? If you have any good stories please leave em' in the comments. I gotta' know if it's just me this happens to...

Eat Like a Beast!

   I love chicken as much as the next guy and anyone living here knows that South Korea does chicken in a way that would bring a tear to Colonel Sanders' eye. You've got your fried chicken from Pelicana or Frypan. That shit's delicious! You've got your baked and glazed stuff from... well... Pelicana or any other of the many chicken joints in your neighborhood. That's nothing compared to the dining experience at this new chicken place in town.
   Have you ever seen the guy who drives the truck with the rotisserie chicken in the back? He's got a big cooker in the bed with a window so you can watch these little chickens get all nice and crispafied... So good. This new place right near Nambu Bus Terminal (Seoul Orange Line 3) has that same chicken cooker attached to the restaurant. Ah-f'n-Sah!
   Here's the deal... You go in, sit down and say "Give me chicken."... If there's any hesitation...growl and repeat. There's no side dishes. There's no confusion. In a perfect Korea, they wouldn't even give you chopsticks. You'd walk in, they'd punch you in the face and give you a viking helmet. After this, you'd eat... It'd be awesome.
   The food (chicken) was perfect. It had some rice stuffed into it along with garlic cloves and a few wood chips called Gam-Cho (Licorice Root). It doesn't taste licoricey at all. It's used, basically, as a sweetener. They serve salt, hot mustard and chili sauce for dipping.
   After one chicken was gone I knew I needed to order another. This time I got it glazed with chili sauce. Delicious! It was covered in Tteokbokki (Chewy Rice Cakes) and corn. Did you know the Korean word for "corn" is Ok-Soo-Soo? It's probably one of my favorite words. It sounds like a Native American Indian tribe. There was nothing Native or American about this chicken though. It was just delicious. The heat from the chili sauce would've knocked the feathers out of any Indian's head-dress.
   If you're in the Nambu Bus Terminal area, be sure to stop by this bad-ass-stablishment. The sign reads- "꼭꾸이 참나무 통 바베큐" . You'll recognize it by the all-wood exterior if you can't spot the text. It's right across the street from the grocery store/ electronics complex. Leave your table manners at the door and go tear apart a chicken... and, of course, eat it... Enjoy!
 

Rent-a-Bike on the Han River

   You've gotta rent yourself a bike on the Han! So much fun! I went out with Danielle and a few friends this past Sunday to Ttukseom Resort (puke greenish brown line 7). There's a bike rental place right outside of the station in the park. It cost us ₩7,000 each for three hours. We ended up in Gyeonggi, just east of Seoul. It was so great to get out of the city and see things like trees, grass, dirt...
   One piece of advice though- I got a very feminine one speed bike. Big mistake. Not because I looked super fruity but because it's a pain in the ass to get up a hill. It was actually impossible at some points. I had to walk it. So, my advice is this- When they offer you either a more-than-one speed bike or a one speed bike, don't get the one that makes for a slightly homo-erotic photo on your blog. Go for the mountain bike. You won't look as comically flamboyant, but your buns and thighs will thank you later.
   Get out to Ttukseom Resort. It's not really a resort... It's a park. Get a bike. Ride it. It's super smooth other than a few inclines. There's plenty of 7-11's if you stay on the river. They all have water, ramyan and beer.
   Enjoy yourself. Let me know how it goes.
  

Kind Koreans on Easter

   Danielle and I went for a bike ride last Sunday. It started off with brunch at a hip little cafe we found in Dogok. It was one of those cafes that looks as though they have some authentic eats on their menu. Danielle got a pastrami sandwich... It was a chicken sub. I got a steak sandwich... It was actually a dwaeji-gogi sandwich. It was galbi meat on a bun. Luckily the bread was a really great ciabatta. It was pretty perfect. Oh! and the salad was great. Simple... delicious... fresh... booyah!
   After brunch we looked for a place to fill up Danielle's flat tire. We found a little auto body with one guy working outside. We could hear his high powered compressed air gun from around the block. Perfect! He was more than happy to fill both of our tires for free. I offered him some cash but he just smiled and bowed. I love that kinda shit! People helping people... Awesome.
   The day went on and, after getting lost and going to E-Mart, we finally got back to our neighborhood for some GS beers. I've said it once and I'll say it again- I love that you can drink outdoors in Korea. We finished a few drinks and were in the middle of a conversation when a group of middle school students walked by us with baskets of colored eggs. After passing us they all elected one girl to go back and give the foreigners Easter eggs. "Happy Easter day!" They all chimed in. They gave us our gifts and scurried off to spread more holiday cheer.
   We actually hadn't even realized that it was Easter Sunday until all this had happened. What a cool thing! People here in Korea are so trusting. Where I'm from you would never approach anyone drinking outside of a convenient store with any kind of gift. Well, I guess if you consider giving pocket change to the town wino then maybe you would.
   This country always amazes me with their blind sense of trust. I've never witnessed more random acts of kindness until I came to South Korea... I also never had gotten plowed down by elderly women on the subway until I came here. But, hey, lets focus on the good for now.

Korean Pancakes for Breakfast

  
   It looks like a scab. I know... But it's delicious. The photo does no justice. Anyhow, I've been making pancakes for breakfast lately, but I'm not talking about the kind with maple syrup and butter. You won't find this craziness on an Ihop menu.
   A Korean pancake, or Pajeon, usually consists of kimchi or seafood. I always go for the kimchi if I'm ordering one in a restaurant. I, pretty much, never cook Korean food at home, but now... That's all changed. I'm cookin' up hotcakes like...umm, hotcakes. They're so damn good and so easy to make. There's only three ingredients.
   You gotta go out and get yourself some Korean pancake mix and kimchi. I buy big bags of the mix at my local grocery store, and a small bag of kimchi from the local GS25 on the day I'm cooking. I buy the small bag as to not stink up my tiny fridge with kimchi stench. It gets nasty if you let kimchi sit. Yuk!
   I like to toss my kimchi in a small mixing bowl and use kitchen scissors to cut it up right in in the bowl. Next, add a bit of mix, then add water. Mix it all together until it's the thickness of a milkshake... God, a kimchi milkshake would be disgusting (Sorry Korea)... Next, toss it in a buttered pan and cook it into one big pancake on a low flame. I like to let mine get crispy but there's no wrong way to do it. The crunch just adds another element to the experience. That's it though. slide it out of the pan, grab some chopsticks and enjoy. It makes a great breakfast or snack. It also goes great with Korean rice wine, Makgeolli. Maybe you shouldn't be drinking Makgeolli with breakfast.
   Give it a shot. It's good. You'll love it.

Russian Food in Korea

 
   Goddamn, Russian food is great! A bunch of us just went out last night for Russian food in Dongdaemun. Dongdaemun is a part of Seoul that has a pretty large eastern European population. It's the perfect place to go for Russian munchies. Again... Goddamn! It's soooooo GOOD!
   I got "borscht". It was duh-lish! It's basically beet soup with spices and sour cream. It turns out to be pinkish when you mix the sour cream around. The flavor is salty and kind of sweet. It's not as earthy tasting as a straight up beet. Actually I don't like beets for that reason. That dirty flavor just kills me but this soup is actually a bit sweet. Salty and sweet- you can't beat that... Maybe pun intended.
   I also got cabbage rolls. They were awesome too. I don't know what spices they use in these babies but they were one of the best foods I've had in a long time. They were cooked perfectly. The cabbage on the outside wasn't tough at all. They were stuffed with ground beef and spices. All GOOD!
   Along with our food, we enjoyed some Russain beer and vodka. I guess it wouldn't be a true Russian experience without vodka. Fun fact- Russian beer is numbered. The higher the number- the darker the brew. Also, the higher the number- the higher the alcohol! The highest number is nine. Guess which one I got??? Oh yeah!
   Get out to Dongdaemun (if you're in Korea) and treat yourself to a hearty meal in a Russian restaurant. I'd tell you the name of our spot but I can't read Russian. My food was great and everyone I was with was raving about their food as well. We left the place stuffed and half drunk...maybe whole drunk. You should do the same. Have Fun.